The Blind Guy
by missfeliggy
Summary: After an unlucky run-in with Emperor Awesome, Wander goes temporarily blind. It's up to Sylvia to make sure he doesn't end up in any more unwanted situations. It's the usual, then. Just, y'know, double the work. A bit of one-sided Sea Horse and maybe hints of Sylander.
1. Chapter 1

**My very first Wander Over Yonder fic, so some OOCness is bound to be expected in some places. Enjoy!**

 **Wander Over Yonder (c) Craig McCracken**

* * *

Sylvia wasn't altogether fond of parties. She didn't really _hate_ them, but she would much prefer to just lie on a beach with a cold drink in her hand, listening to the waves rolling in. If there wasn't any karaoke involved, she would most likely pass up the opportunity. Or she would've, had she not felt obligated to never leave her best friend's side unless it was absolutely necessary.

The furball in question was currently showing off his skills on the dance floor. His scrawny limbs were moving in ways, which the inhabitants of this planet, judging from their faces, hadn't seen before.

A few of them were trying to do him after, but even after closely observing his steps, they didn't know which leg to stand on. Understandable, as their particular race had five legs. She should feel horrible for laughing, but by grop if it wasn't hilarious!

Even if she didn't like parties that much, she had to admit that she was having a bit of fun. And even if she wasn't, then Wander was, which was the most important part.

All fun things must come to an end, though. Knowing their luck, she really should've seen it coming.

"Hey, who decided to throw a party without inviting me?!"

Sylvia sighed and pinched her snout right between the eyes. Out of all the people, it just had to be _him_.

From what little she could see of Awesome's face in the doorway, he looked rather miffed. With a snap of his fingers, his Fist Fighters entered with lasers in hand and then started to hold some of the partygoers at gunpoint. Or laserpoint, as it were. Whichever.

She assumed the only reason why she wasn't already a target for one of the many fist-faced goons was because she was standing close to one of the walls, partially covered by shadows and therefore difficult to spot at first glance.

People started screaming, but they dared not move out of fear of getting shot.

 _'As usual_ , _'_ she thought, rolling up her non-existant sleeves. _'It's up to me and Wander to make sure that these nuts don't harm anyone_. _'_ She looked over to where she had last seen her friend, only to find that he was gone. She panicked. Where could he be?! She made to look for him before helping the party-goers, hoping to go about it stealthily.

Before she could even take a step further into the shadows, she noticed that Awesome was looking straight at her. The frown, which had covered his face when he entered, was now replaced with a toothy grin. Oh, _perfect_! All of his attention was now on her. She couldn't believe her luck.

He moved towards her in a fashion which she could only assume to be dancing, although it looked more like a fish wriggling on land (hah!). Really, falling down the stairs would've been more graceful.

"Hey, Becs~," he said, wriggling his eyebrows in what he thought to be an endearing manner. "Had I known you'd be here, I would've dressed for the occasion."

Sylvia resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Flipping her hand in a dismissive and sassy way, she said with a disinterested tone, "You can't handle this."

This didn't discourage Awesome in the least. He just grabbed her hand and began stroking its backside; Sylvia thought she was going to get sick. "You keep saying that, but you don't mean it." He leaned towards her, evidently in an attempt to kiss her.

Not too keen on the idea herself, she leant backwards as far as she was allowed in the limited space between her and the wall. Seeing the way she reacted, Awesome opted not to continue with this approach.

 _'Well_ , _'_ she thought, _'this guy at least doesn't threaten to destroy the planet.'_

"You know, this party's pretty lame anyway. Whatcha say we blow this joint and paint the town red tonight?"

She could just feel the bile rising up her throat. "Depends."

"Depends on what?"

"On if you by painting the town red mean having fun or actually painting the town red with the tears and blood of its poor denizens by blowing up the planet in one of your planet-destroying parties. Oh wait, no it doesn't. I'll say no either way."

She allowed herself to smile a little because she knew he'd soon give up. For a bad guy, he was a remarkably good sport about her reject-

"What if I promise _not_ to blow up the planet? In exchange you'll have to go on a date with me."

Huh? Well, he was very uncharacteristically stubborn tonight.

"I already told you, I'm not interested in spending any time with you - alone or otherwise."

"Oh, but we won't be alone; it'll be you, me, these guys," he then started flexing his muscles, "and...these girls." With a suggestive wriggle of his eyebrows, he grabbed both of her hands and held them up to kiss them.

She was just about ready to throw up and had long since lost her patience with him. Before his lips even met scaly skin, she ripped them out of his grip and sent him the meanest glare she could muster. "Listen, pal! You keep my ladies out of this or you'll soon find your face well-acquainted with them! Second, if you don't soon get it through your thick skull that I'm not interested in you, you'll find your face well-acquainted with them! Third, if you don't leave _right now_ -"

"I'll find my face well-acquainted with them?" the slight shakiness in his voice told her that she was getting to him.

She smirked at this, "Worse."

His posture suddenly changed, his cocky smile back in place. "Oh, Becs~," he said condescendingly, shaking his head as if disappointed.

The change in attitude took her by surprise; she had not seen that coming. "What?"

"You seem to be forgetting who's in charge here."

To accentuate his point, she was met with at least a dozen laser guns to the face. Oh, right. The Fist Fighters. How could she forget?

Out of the blue, a pair of orange, hairy arms wrapped around Awesome's waist from behind, accompanied by a very familiar voice. "Emperor Awesome! Long time, no see, huh? How have ya been?"

Sylvia hadn't even seen him move up to them, and by the looks of it, neither had Awesome. He jumped in surprise and started reaching behind him frantically. "Get off me, you freak!" When that didn't work, he just opted to grab the offending arms and unwound them from his waist.

Wander didn't seem the least bit hurt from the small scene which had just played out, much to the relief of Sylvia. Awesome, on the other hand, was furious.

"How come you guys didn't stop him?!" he yelled at his Fist Fighters, voice sounding prepubescent from anger.

The Fist Fighters themselves seemed just as confused; apparently, they hadn't seen Wander, either.

Seeing that he wasn't getting anywhere, Awesome just sighed in frustration.

"So, now that you have us here at your complete mercy," except that they really weren't; she could see at least 23 ways to get through those Fist Fighters, 17 of which involved using her fists, "what are you planning? Force me to date you through blackmail?"

"Nah," Awesome said rather dismissively. "Dating's no fun if the girl ain't willing. No, this party sucks majorly, so I think I'll pump it up and make it a party, the likes of which this planet's never seen!"

Sylvia paled at this, "A planet-ending party...?"

"You betcha, baby. And when I'm done, you and your weird little friend are coming with me back to my ship. That'll show Hatey who's the greatest."

With a snap of his fingers, even more lasers were pointed at Wander and Sylvia. They were then forced to move forwards to the centre of the room.

"Grop," the smile which had been plastered on Wander's face was now gone, replaced with a worried frown. "Those things look mighty dangerous, fellahs. Here, let me help ya with that."

He then grabbed hold of the laser gun immediately in front of him, and tugged it towards himself. The Fist Fighter holding the laser in question, however, wasn't willing to let go of his weapon.

Not caring for her own safety, Sylvia reached towards the weapon herself in an attempt to assist Wander in this rather deadly game of tug of war. Next thing she knew, the laser was accidentally fired and hit the spotlight immediately above them.

With a cracking noise the supports gave way and the entire thing came crashing down. All of the Fist Fighters panicked, and ran in all directions. Sylvia was thrown out of the way before she could even grab hold of Wander.

Wander just stood there; he was so shocked from what was happening that he didn't get to move out of the way before he was enveloped by the spotlight.

The following screaming shook Sylvia to her core.

She tore herself away from Awesome, and ran straight towards the spot where her friend had been standing mere seconds earlier. She tried lifting the spotlight, but her distressed state of mind made her frantic. Normally, she would've been able lift something like this, no problem, but she simply couldn't focus enough of her strength to fully get the fridging thing out of the way.

Awesome just stared at her, feeling ever so lost and distraught by her growing panic. Coming to the conclusion that this was partially his fault, he decided to help her out.

She didn't acknowledge his presence when he suddenly stood beside her. He himself was much too focused on their current task to pretend to get offended.

With their combined strength, they managed to lift the spotlight and push it out of the way. The sight that met them broke Sylvia's heart into a thousand pieces.

Physically, Wander had been worse; much, much worse. No, that was not what scared her. He was just lying there, curled up on himself, and weeping into his hands.

She sat down beside him, but dared not even touch him. Too afraid of what might happen. Too afraid that he might break into pieces.

A numb kind of sadness seemed to fill her mind, but it was slowly being replaced by anger.

"Get out," she whispered.

"Um, what?" Awesome looked confused, which only fuelled her rage further.

"Get out before I do something I won't regret later!"

All sorts of emotions seemed to cross Awesome's features; confusion, fear, sadness, regret, and lastly, anger. That last one seemed faked, though. He let out a half-hearted _"hmph!"_.

"Okay, but not because you told me to." He then ordered his Fist Fighters to return to his ship. "See if I invite you to my next party, Becs..." With that, he was gone.

Wander's weeping had quieted down a great deal and he finally removed his hands from his face. "S-Sylvia?"

She was on him immediately. "I'm right here, buddy." His next words broke her heart further, which she had thought to be impossible.

"Where? I can't see..."

She immediately looked towards the broken spotlight. Glass from the outer protection lay in pieces everywhere. The bulb itself, though, was perfectly intact and was still lit. Realization hit her hard; he had been directly faced with a who-flarping-cares-how-many-watts lightbulb, and had gone blind as a result.

"...W-Wander, I..."

"Excuse me..." the voice was so quiet that Sylvia barely heard it.

Turning towards the voice, she was faced with the partygoers. Oh yeah, they were still here.

"Your friend seems quite hurt," one of them, the same one as before, spoke up.

Sylvia bit her lip as to not throw out a sarcastic remark. It wouldn't be fair, as they, too, were afraid and had been held at laserpoint throughout the entire ordeal.

"I could drive you and your friend to the nearest hospital."

Sylvia perked up at this. _'A hospital, thank grop!'_ Not all planets had hospitals, and she had feared that it might have been necessary for her to go look for the hospital planet. Been there before, never going back there again, _ugh_.

"Yes! Thanks! That would be...much appreciated."

"Not a problem! You sort of did save us back there," the little guy said (or was it girl? Sylvia could never tell with these creatures), already heading outside towards his/her/its car.

Sylvia carefully picked Wander up. He had grown awfully quiet, and just seemed to be looking around with his now dull, green eyes. "Come on, buddy. You'll be all right. I'm sure it's not permanent."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the support, you guys! This might possibly be the shortest chapter of this story. Enjoy!**

 **Wander Over Yonder (c) Craig McCracken**

* * *

"It'z permanent..."

"WHAT?!"

"... _if_ it izn't properly treated," the doctor finished with a deadpan expression.

Sylvia sighed in relief. "Ya heard that, buddy? Told ya it wouldn't be so bad," she said, looking down at her furry friend, who seemed to be distracting himself with kicking his legs. He smiled, not one of his usual toothy grins, but rather a meek, little upturned lip, and nodded at her. Well, he _thought_ he was; in fact, he was looking in the complete opposite direction.

"I'm over here, bud."

He quickly turned his head but didn't utter a word; in fact, he hadn't said anything since the accident, which was very uncharacteristic of him. Sylvia assumed he was still shock. Heck, she wasn't much better.

The doctor sighed, "I vish zhat you vould pay more attenzion. I can't help you vith zis."

"Wait, what?" she exclaimed, confused by the doctor's contradictory words. "What do you mean you can't help? Didn't you just say...?"

"I zaid zhat his eyez needed proper care, correct."

"Then why aren't you-"

" ** _Unfortunately_** ," the doctor cut her off, "ve do not have any ocular zurgeons employed here. You'll have to look far to find one; in fact, zhere are none to be found on zis planet."

Sylvia swore under her breath. _Perfect_ , what were they going to do _now_?

"You're in luck, zhough," the doctor was looking through Wander's papers as he said this. "Zhe optic nerve doezn't zeem to be completely burned to a crisp, but merely damaged. Zis may still zound bad, but it'z no worse zhan his eyez won't heal on their own. Probably."

"Probably?"

" _Vell_ ," judging by his tone alone, Sylvia could tell he was moving into unknown territory. "I can't pretend to know much about zis, but optic nerve regeneration existz only in very few spezies. Unfortunately, ve couldn't find any records of," with a wave of his wrist he indicated Wander, "your friend'z spezies. I vould recommend you vait a few veeks, and if hiz sight haz not returned, you seek out an ocular zurgeon."

 _'Well, that's a relief. I think.'_

"What was this care you were talking about, then?"

"Peace and quiet are some of zhe zhings zhat he needs. As long as he avoids stress, his body can focus on repairing zhe damages. Also, it vould be vise to have his eyez covered at all times."

"Why?" Sylvia asked, confused.

"Because unvanted light could pozzibly damage zhe eyez furzher."

Oh. Well, it _did_ make sense.

 _'Besides_ , _'_ she thought, _'it's not like it's gonna be much of a bother.'_

"Do you have anyzhing vhich could be used as protection?"

Wander suddenly perked up, his smile growing wider and brighter. It was still pretty restrained as far as his smiles went, but it was a start. Nevertheless, Sylvia knew that look; it meant that the dear doctor was going to see something amazing.

"Do I?!" he said, speaking for the first time since the accident. "I don't, actually, but I soon will!"

The doctor looked at her, confused. "What iz he talking about?"

Sylvia smirked knowingly, "You'll see."

Even if she and the hat never really got along, she enjoyed watching people's shocked reactions when they got to see what it could do. It was always a riot.

Wander took off his hat with one hand and reached into it with the other, an action that came as naturally to him as breathing. He stuck out his tongue in concentration for a few seconds before he successfully drew out what he was looking for, smiling from one non-existent ear to the other. "Tada!"

The loud gasp that followed was just the reaction that Wander was hoping for. "Amazing, ain't it?"

Sylvia didn't know what was funnier; the doctor's reaction or the fact that Wander had drawn not only a cloth, but a pair of sunglasses as well.

"Seems to me like your hat doesn't want ya to take any chances, buddy."

Wander looked confused for a second before his smile returned full force. "Well, my hat's always known how to look out for me," he said, looking in the direction that he was absolutely (mostly? sort of?) sure was hers. "Kinda like you."

"Aw, shut up," she said good-humouredly.

The doctor was still standing there with comically wide eyes and an open mouth, pointing at the hat like it was the devil's spawn. For all they knew, it might as well be. "Ho...how iz...wha...howizthateven... Impozzible!"

Sylvia laughed, "Haha! Never gets old." She wiped a few tears from her eyes before she directed questions at the doctor, "So, anything else we need to know? Anything broken? Do we need to spend the night here, or...?"

She sincerely hoped that they didn't; the less time spent at a hospital, the better.

It took the doctor a few seconds to realise that he was being spoken to, and he finally pulled himself together. He skimmed the papers in his hands, "N-no. Well, he haz a sprained left ankle, though that hardly callz for immediate bed rest. Y-you can go..."

"Woohoo, ya heard that, Wander?" she turned to her friend. The sight that met her made her want to laugh and cry at the same time. She opted for a facepalm.

Somehow, he had managed to bind his hands, feet, legs, arms and head together, apparently in an attempt to put the blindfold on.

"Hehe, a little help, please..." he giggled nervously.

Sylvia took a few seconds to contemplate just how big of an idiot her best friend was before helping him.

"I got ya, buddy."

She unbound his limbs and tenderly bound the cloth around his head to cover his eyes properly, careful as to not let any fur get caught in the knot. She then placed the sunglasses over the blindfold with great difficulty, thanks to him lacking both nose and ears.

"There you go."

"Thanks, Syl."

She helped him get on her back, putting extra support on his left side to make sure he didn't put too much weight on his ankle.

"So, you ready to go out and get some grub and a place to nap?"

"Ya bet!"

* * *

 **Let it be known that I am not a doctor - as if you couldn't already tell. If you ever go blind or sprain an ankle; please, go to a doctor. In reality, I don't have any authority and you can do as you please, but it really would be for the best.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Not much to say here, so enjoy!**

 **Wander Over Yonder (c) Craig McCracken**

* * *

It was a nightmare.

When they left the hospital they had hoped to find a hotel relatively quickly, where they could rest and reload their batteries. Instead, they had spent the remainder of the night and the entirety of the next day searching for something which promised, if not a warm bed, then at least a sleeping mat.

Some difficulty was to be expected; after all, it was pretty short notice just showing up, looking for a room.

However, they had been to fourteen different hotels, all of which had no vacancy. **_Fourteen!_** This was bordering on the ridiculous.

"What the flarping flang is going on since there are no rooms to be had anywhere?!"

The moment those words left her mouth, they passed a wall which was completely covered with posters; they were all advertisements for one single comedy show. One of them even read: _'If you aren't laughing then you clearly lack a sense of humour and you should feel bad.'_

Sylvia growled in annoyance. It was pretty sad that something like _that_ was what passed as humour these days. Even sadder still was that it sold out.

"I don't know, Syl. You're right, though; sure is strange!"

Wander still wasn't near as talkative as he usually was, which was to be expected. Usually, he would gasp and marvel at everything around them; without his sight, he didn't quite know _what_ to talk about. Somehow, though, he still held on to that boundless optimism he was so famous for.

While it was a relief to see him in such good spirits, it _did_ cause a few problems. Mainly in relation to his disposition of helping everyone.

Multiple times they had to put their search for a hotel room on hold because some poor, unfortunate soul was left all by their lonesome to deal with the ill-given hand of fate (Wander's words, not hers).

They had passed by a supermarket and decided that it couldn't hurt to buy some extra orbble juice. Inside, they passed a woman who had trouble reaching the top shelf in the jam and confectionery aisle. When the woman asked for assistance, Wander jumped off of Sylvia's back before she had a chance to stop him. Unfortunately, he put too much weight on his left side when he landed, and as a result, he started rolling and bouncing back and forth in the aisle like a ball in a pinball machine.

It was not a pretty sight.

They then met an old (like, _really_ old!) guy who had gotten separated from his great-granddaughter. Wander insisted that they should help the old geezer, even if he wasn't in a position to be of much help. Sylvia was a bit sceptical, since it was far too similar to an earlier episode, which brought back bad memories, and the fact that they were in the middle of the street with no mall security (or any other kind of security) would only make it all the more difficult to find the little girl. It was the thought of a little girl lost and scared that made Sylvia accept the seemingly impossible challenge. Well, _that_ and Sylvia didn't want to hear Wander complaining about it for the rest of the day, had she not. After an hour of searching, Sylvia had made a comment about how much easier it would have been, had they been able to contact her. This reminded the old guy of this _"ridiculous mobile techno-wazzit with speed-gobbledygook"_ he had been given at his birthday. When she had finished facepalming, Sylvia took his phone and called the first number on his contact list. Seemingly the right one, too, as the very person they'd been looking for picked up. Turns out his great-granddaughter was already in her mid-thirties. She was very grateful that they'd found her great-grandpapa - she herself had apparently been searching for him for the last hour and a half, since she discovered he was missing.

Then there were those Sipon bakers who needed help blind testing their blorpberry pies...that actually went pretty well, albeit incredibly insensitive on the part of the Siponians.

The last one they helped was a guy, whom they came across as they took a short cut to another hotel through a park. He was about to drown in the middle of a lake when they found him. Sylvia had immediately gone into action, but Wander, in all his well-meaning idiocy, had refused to sit idly by in such a dire situation. So, with no eyesight, a sprained ankle and about a dozen pies still fresh in his stomach, he had sprung into action.

In the end, Sylvia had to save him, too.

Seriously, even if it was only a question of time before he's regain his sight, he really should be more careful. He was more vulnerable now than she had ever seen him before, which meant she'd have to keep an extra watchful eye on him if he kept acting as if nothing was wrong. Had she not already known that Wander could slip out of them easily, she'd have bought a pair of handcuffs.

But after all those distractions, they were once again on the hunt for a place to stay the night.

It was already pretty late; she could tell not by the specific hour, as neither of them had a watch, but by the setting third sun.

Currently, they found themselves in one of the dirtier parts of town, having already tried all of the good and/or average hotels the city had to offer. Normally, Sylvia wouldn't go near places like this, but she was pretty flarping desperate at this point.

She caught sight of a building to their right which wouldn't have stuck out from its surrounding buildings, had it not been for the gigantic sign reading _'The Moonlight Hotel'_. Sylvia frowned; it was dirty, ramshackled, and it smelled like pee, but it was their best bet.

"Let's hope we're lucky this time."

"Fifteenth time's the charm!"

"You said that the last time."

"Don't be silly, I said 'fourteenth' the last time."

There was absolutely no one inside with the exception of one girl sitting behind the counter, reading a magazine. She was so absorbed in what she was doing that she didn't notice the entrance door getting opened, nor Sylvia getting closer.

"Ahem," Sylvia coughed into her hand, trying to get the girl's attention. Unintentionally, this caused the girl to let out a _"Yelp!"_ , as she fell out if her chair in fright.

"Oh jeez, I'm sorry," Sylvia immediately apologised.

"What are you doing, Sylvia?" Wander reprimanded his friend. "That's no way to approach someone!"

"I-I didn't mean to, I just-"

"It's a-all ri-right," a meek little voice cut her off. The girl had gotten back on her feet and was currently dusting her clothes.

Wander smiled, "Hello, Miss! Please, excuse mah friend here, but we were just wonderin' if we could spend the night here?"

"Hey!" Sylvia glared at her friend. "I can talk for myself, okay?!" She then turned to the girl, "But yeah, we would really like a place to stay the night."

"I-I'm n-n-not s-sure we even h-have any-y rooms l-le-left."

Sylvia's heart sank just a little. "Are you sure? Couldn't you check?"

The girl nodded. "I-I could, but I wo-won't p-puh-promise anything." She set aside her magazine to look through the guest book. A few minutes passed before she answered, "N-no, I-I'm so-sorry, but there's..."

"Don't tell me," Sylvia sighed.

"No vacancy," they said simultaneously.

Sylvia was just about ready to give up. "Are you absolutely sure you're all booked? We could... We could sleep in the broom closet!"

The girl flipped a few pages. "N-no. The buh-broom closet's also t-ta-taken."

 _"And I do not agree with these accommodations!"_ someone yelled from a room behind her.

The girl yelled a quick _"Sorry!"_ over her shoulder before she turned her attention back to Sylvia and Wander.

"Oh, well," Wander said, as optimistic as ever. "I guess sixteenth time's the charm!"

Sylvia sighed, "Just don't, Wander."

The girl looked on a bit guilty. "Um, I m-may have a so-solution t-to your pr-problem," she said, as they were about to turn around and leave.

"You DO?!" Sylvia asked, borderline yelled.

The girl flinch from the volume. "Yeah, but..." she lowered her voice to a whisper, "I'm a-actually n-not a-allowed to ta-talk about th-this. A-advertisement and st-stuff..."

"Ah~," Wander gasped quietly. "Don't worry, discretion's our specialty!" Had he not been wearing a blindfold and sunglasses, he would've winked.

"It really isn't," Sylvia answered the girl's sceptical expression.

It really didn't make the girl feel any better. "I h-have family who lives i-in a village j-just outside the ci-city. N-not too far a-away that y-you wo-won't be a-able wa-walk on foot, n-not too cl-close that ci-city pollution g-gets to it. They o-own an inn th-there and w-would gla-gladly offer a b-bed and f-food."

Wander and Sylvia both gasped in surprise. _Oh_ , that sounded just _perfect!_ "Where?!" they barely managed to keep it in a whisper.

"Shhh!" the girl shushed. "T-try to k-keep it do-down! Th-the walls are s-so thin here y-you n-never know wh-who might be l-listening in. I-if an-nyone finds o-out that I a-advertised for so-some other b-business, I mi-might get sa-sacked!"

"Sorry," they both whispered.

"Where's this village you speak of?" Sylvia asked quietly.

"Just o-outside the c-city. Just fo-follow the main road w-west till y-you reach the city li-limits and take the second p-pa-path due south through the f-forest. From there it sh-should only t-take about half an h-hour."

Wander quietly cheered, while Sylvia stood there a bit at a loss. "Thank you! Not to sound ungrateful, but... Why are you helping us?"

"Why are ya questionin' it, Sylvia?" Wander stopped his cheering to ask his friend. "Ya should know by now that it never hurts to help! Besides, _I know_ that _one day_ , _we_ will be given the opportunity to _pay back_ what we owe to this nice, young lady!"

The girl, a bit flustered by Wander's little speech, answered, "W-well, I j-just felt a bi-bit bad for y-you, since you se-seemed so de-desperate being turned d-do-down so many times."

"How did you know we were turned down?"

The girl's face turned red in anger. "I-I'm n-not stupid! Y-you asked fo-for the b-buh-broom closet!" she looked at them as if it was obvious. "Be-besides, this p-puh-place's hardly hi-high on an-nyone's list of puh-places to stay," she said with a wave to indicate their surroundings.

Sylvia looked around and had to agree with her. She had tried to ignore the ever present smell of faeces and the inch thick layer of dust on every horizontal surface. How were they completely booked again?

"I suppose you're right." She looked the girl up and down. "If you don't mind me asking - what are you doing here?"

"E-excuse m-m-me?"

"What are you doing here?"

"W-well, I s-sit beh-hind the counter a-and atte-end t-"

"No," Sylvia cut her off. "What I meant was why are you here? As you said, this is hardly the place people want to stay at. You are young and you are bright, surely you can do better."

The girl looked down in sadness. "No, th-this wa-was the o-only p-place they di-didn't m-mind my s-stuttering. It ha-has alw-ways b-been the sou-source of m-my insecuri-rities, and I-I just wanted t-to show m-my family that th-they di-didn't need to k-keep prot-tecting me by ha-having a j-j-job in the b-big city." She started to tear up. "I su-suppose I'm ju-just a fa-failure."

Sylvia didn't know what to say, as she never was any good at talking about emotions. Luckily, she didn't have to, since Wander was still there and very much still listening.

"NO, MISS!" he exclaimed, voice cracking slightly to reveal that he, too, had been crying. He waved his arms to the side, hitting Sylvia over her head as he did so ("Ow!"). "Don't ya dare talk about yerself like that!"

The girl looked at Wander with wide eyes, not even uttering a single word as he continued.

"I have always believed (among other things) that whatever ya do, ya should never let yer disabilities get in the way of yer dreams and happiness! So tell me, what are yer dreams?!"

"...I-I want to b-become a s-sing-er..." she said, barely above a whisper.

"LOUDER!"

"I W-WANT T-TO BEC-COME A S-SINGER!"

"Then go out there and make that dream a reality!"

"Yeah!" she yelled to the ceiling with her arms sticking victoriously up in the air. Mere seconds later she lost all traces of confidence. "B-but h-how do I g-go about th-that? I'm j-just an ordi-nary gi-girl working b-behind a c-co-counter i-in a ba-backwater part of to-town."

Wander had calmed down enough to answer her normally. "Dreams depend on hope; while believin' in something doesn't necessarily make it true, it only becomes impossible once ya start doubtin' yerself. Besides," he said with a would-be glint in his eyes, "what do ya call a girl behind a counter?"

"I-I don't kn-know..."

"A countess."

Slowly but surely a smile started to creep up on the girl's face and she started giggling. However, Wander wasn't quite finished.

"Also, someone to count on... They carry the whole _count_ ry on their shoulders...um... Oh! I got it! They-"

"Save the last one for later," Sylvia shut him up by covering his mouth with her hand. She addressed the girl, who was getting over her giggling fit. "Thanks again. How can we ever pay you back?"

She blushed. "Do-don't w-worry about th-that. T-tell them Plexia sent y-you and they're bo-bound to g-give you an e-extra slice of Glafb-berry Cream Cr-rumble."

"Will do. Thanks again!" Sylvia turned around and waved goodbye with the hand which she had been using to keep Wander's mouth shut.

With no obstructions he just kept talking, no puns included. "I actually really wanted to say 'princess', but it wouldn't have made sense punwise _and_ it's about time that other royalties got a bit of attention. Ya know what I'm sayin'? I mean, ya always hear about princesses gettin' kidnapped, but never anyone else. Oh my," his face took on a shocked expression; his hands cupped both cheeks and his mouth was formed like an 'o'. "I know what we're gonna do!"

"We aren't gonna save a countess."

"Who said anything about a countess? It could be a baroness! Or a duchess! Or how about an-"

"No."

* * *

 **I'm sorry if the stuttering is annoying on the eyes, but I just _really_ wanted it to be bad. Sorry!**


	4. Chapter 4

**It's pretty short, but it's still not shorter than the second chapter.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Wander Over Yonder (c) Craig McCracken**

* * *

Like Plexia had said, it didn't take much longer than half an hour after exiting the main road before lights could be seen through the forest trees which surrounded the city. Very faint lights, but lights nonetheless.

Wander had fallen asleep on the way. He had tried to stay awake because he didn't want Sylvia to be 'all by her lonesome'. However, it didn't take a lot of convincing on Sylvia's part to tell him that, really, it was quite all right.

Once they reached a clearing, she was met with the sight of a quaint little village. All of the cottages were accompanied by cute little gardens which could only be seen thanks to the illuminating moon. There were still lights on in some of the houses, but by far the most were completely dark.

A little in the distance on the other side of the clearing, Sylvia could barely make out the silhuette of what appeared to be a farm, where, too, all the lights were turned off.

Walking down the path leading to the village, Sylvia was happy to note that the first house was the exact place, she was looking for; that is, if the sign reading _'The Per Family Inn'_ was anything to go by. Unfortunately, the lights weren't on.

 _'I just hope they won't get mad that we come barging in at this hour.'_

Nearing the front door, Sylvia tentatively knocked, as if she was afraid she'd wake the owners or anyone else sleeping inside. She quickly realised that this approach wouldn't work. Well, _duh!_ The point _was_ to wake them so that she and Wander could _get in_. Knocking a bit louder with just enough force as to _not_ knock down the door, she soon got the desired effect; lights were turned on inside.

 _"Who could it be at this darned hour?"_ a gruff, male voice asked.

 _"Uh, I dunno. Have you tried the door?"_ said another voice, this one female and with a kind, albeit sarcastic tone.

The door got unlocked and was opened for Sylvia to receive one of the most terrifying, annoyed glares imaginable.

 _'Hater should take lessons from this guy.'_

"Do you have _any_ idea what time it is!"

"Well, not really," Sylvia said, shrugging. "I mean, I don't have a watch and neither does my friend, so you'd be surpr-"

"That was a rhetorical question!" the man, presumably Mr. Per, took a few breaths to collect himself. Considerably calmed down he resumed talking, "I hope you have a good excuse to come knocking on people's doors in the middle of the night."

"You see, it's complicated, and honestly, you wouldn't be interested in the required backstory. All you need to know is that we need a place to stay, and an acquaintance of ours recommended this place."

The Mr. Per's expression softened and he stepped aside to allow them entrance. As he closed the door behind them, he asked, "An acquaintance? Who?"

"Her name's Plexia."

"PLEXIA?!" the same female voice from before exclaimed out of nowhere. Sylvia almost jumped out of her skin and scales. It didn't make it better that when turning around, she was met with a woman staring her in the face up close.

"Why didn't you say so sooner?" the woman, who was standing on her toes to reach Sylvia's height, said. "Please, come in!"

"Um," Sylvia looked back at Mr. Per, asking with her eyes if this was normal behaviour.

He nodded.

"We are already inside."

Mrs. Per lowered herself down to stand on the soles of her feet, and said rather sheepishly, "So you are! How silly of me! So, how do you know Plexia?"

"Listen, it's late and we're tir-"

"Oh, it _is_ late, isn't it? You must be exhausted! Come with me, come with me. I'll show you your room!" Mrs. Per grabbed Sylvia's hand and hurried up the stairs, dragging her with her.

The man sighed and followed after them at a slower pace.

At the top of the stairs were hallways which led in both directions. Mrs. Per dragged Sylvia to the right and stopped in front of a door at the end of the hallway. "This is where you'll be sleeping!" she said as she opened the door. The inside was simple - a window, a closet and, most importantly, a bed. A double bed at that.

"So, this is for the two of us?" Sylvia asked.

"Oh yes. Do you want to sleep separately?"

Sylvia had to think for a second. She and Wander had travelled together for a long time and had therefore slept together for a long time, too. Heck, he slept _on top of her_. Somehow, though, the thought of sharing a double bed with him, something which seemed so utterly intimate, made her just a bit uncomfortable. On the other hand, she'd need to be there when Wander woke up. Besides, it wasn't as if Wander would mind.

"No. I was just wondering since a lot of inns and hostels are against having unmarried people of opposite gender share a room."

Mrs. Per chuckled, "Don't be silly! If we can have two boys together in one room and two girls together in another room, you best be sure we can have a boy and a girl together in an entirely different room! We try not to judge."

"Well, that wasn't quite what I-"

"Are the two of you done wasting precious night time? I'd like to get some snoozing done," Mr. Per said as he came up to them.

"Don't mind him," his wife whispered to Sylvia. "He just gets cranky when he's tired."

He patted her on the shoulder. "It's not my fault I barely get any sleep with you snoring as much as you do."

"I do no-"

"Now," he said as he turned to Sylvia. "Do you want to be woken up, and if so, when?"

"Actually, I'd like to sleep in. Besides," she said with a crooked smile and pointing at Wander on her back. "I've got my own personal alarm clock."

The couple laughed at her little remark and after informing her of the whereabouts of the bathroom, they bid her goodnight. Sylvia entered hers and Wander's room, finding the air rather stuffy, and opened the window. She carefully laid Wander down on the bed, making sure that he was lying comfortably. Afterwards, she lay down herself. She was asleep before her head even hit the pillow.


	5. Chapter 5

**To be honest, I don't know if I like this chapter all that much. At first, I intended for it to be from Wander's point of view, but then I realised that it would be much too undescriptive - it ended up being such anyway, but much less so. I also think I made Wander _too_ enthusiastic about helping people. I didn't think that was a thing. He sounds like a stereotypical superhero in a very stale comic. Oh well. Enjoy!**

 **Wander Over Yonder (c) Craig McCracken**

* * *

Wander woke up the next morning, lying on something soft which didn't quite feel like Sylvia. _'A bed?'_ One of his trademark grins spread across his face as he began burying himself deeper into the mattress. Oh happy day! He rarely ever got the chance to sleep in an actual bed, being a nomad and all. He and Sylvia pretty much relied on themselves on their travels and would mostly camp out in the middle of nowhere - which he loved, by the way. There's was nothing quite like enjoying a calm and quiet evening by the fire with your best friend in the entire Universe. That being said, sleeping in a bed sure was swell to experience every once in awhile. The soft, feathery pillow; the bouncy mattress; the smell of (relatively) freshly washed linen - this was _AMAZING!_

In his drunken state of bliss, Wander made to lie on his side with a sudden and uncontrolled roll, only to land on the hard wooden floor with a loud _'thud!'_

Well, that certainly didn't last long. Crawling out of his hat, he tried to relocate the bed.

 _'I hope that didn't wake Sylvia_ , _'_ he thought, until realisation hit him. Syl! He had been with her when they left Plexia, and had fallen asleep on the way to her family's inn. Since he woke up in a bed, he guessed they were already there. But where was Syl? He didn't know if they were sharing a bedroom or slept separately. Only one way to find out.

"Syl?" he tried calling her out.

He was immediate answered by a loud snore followed by a familiar voice saying, "You naughty slice of Jelly Fish Pie; you're yummy and you belong in my tummy~".

He sighed in relief. At least now he knew she was nearby if he ever needed her. Like going to the bathroom. Just as that thought passed his mind he could feel a sharp pain in his abdomen. Oh. _Oh_. He _really_ needed to go. But he didn't want to wake Sylvia up. He didn't know what time it was; as far as he knew it could be three in the morning. She'd had less sleep than he did, and it would be unfair of him to just wake her like that. He took a deep breath. But he needed her to find the bathroom. Since he didn't know where it was, he'd have difficulty getting to it. He took another deep breath. Well, only one thing to do.

After a bit of searching, he found the bed and crawled onto it.

"Syl? Syl~," he crawled forward and poked her softly. "Ya awake?"

He was answered with some mumbling and with a barely audible "Jus' tenty more minutes."

"Completely understandable," he whispered. "I just wanna know where the bathroom is."

"Win 'e ballday, burn theft, nerd sore con 'e fight," she mumbled and proceeded to snore.

 _'In the hallway, turn left, third door on the right. Got it!'_

"Thank you~," he whispered. "You can go back to sleep now."

Now he just needed to find the door. He crawled towards the front of the bed, but thanks to his missing sight, he hadn't noticed the footboard. He somersaulted over the footboard and, unfortunately, landed with considerable weight put on his left foot.

"A-" he almost cried out, but managed to stop himself. _'Wouldn't want to wake Sylvia.'_ He continued to crawl forward, and started feeling for a door once he reached the wall. It took a bit of time, but he finally found it.

 _'Okay, left, third door on right. That means...'_ He crawled forward to the opposite wall where he met a wooden surface. _'That's one.'_ He moved left of the door, still feeling the wall for any changes in texture. _'Two.'_ Just the next one. _'Thr-'_

"What are you doing down there on the floor?" a gruff voice asked.

"Hi!" Wander greeted in his usual happy tone. "I was just lookin' fer the bathroom."

"Well, you've got the right door. Here, let me help you with that," the man said as he knelt down to pull Wander to his feet. He supported him by the shoulders with one hand and opened the bathroom door with the other. "There you go. Need help with anything else?"

"No, I got everything under control." However, he fell to the floor with a _'slam'_ the moment the man loosened his grip on his shoulder.

"Sorry," the man said as he bent down to pick Wander up again. "I didn't think you'd fall."

"It's all right. Ya couldn't have known," Wander said as he was helped into the bathroom and led towards the toilet.

"You sure you have everything under control?"

"Absolutely. Don't ya worry 'bout me!"

"I see," the man said, not at all convinced about Wander's claim. "I'll just be standing outside if you ever need me."

"Sure thing!"

The man walked out and closed the door behind him to give Wander some privacy.

"Where's the sink?" Wander asked after a few minutes.

"To your right. Are you sure you don-"

"I can handle it!"

After a bit of shuffling from inside of the bathroom, he could hear the sound of running water. This was followed by the sound of something falling to the floor, which was then followed by quite the ruckus.

Before he could even ask, Wander shouted, "Everything's under control!" Not long after, though, his voice could be heard again, saying, "I can't find the soap."

He went inside to find Wander on all fours, feeling along floor for the soap. It seemed nothing but the soap had fallen on the floor; to be honest, he had expected the bathroom to be in a worse state, all things considered. Nevertheless, he probably still shouldn't have left the kid alone in there in the first place, regardless of the many "reassurrances" he'd been given.

He picked up the soap - it lay by Wander's feet, poor kid hadn't seen it - and put it back on the sink before he helped Wander back on his feet. He then took Wander's hands, soaked them under the warm, running water, and soaped them.

"Really, thanks fer the help, but I can take it from here."

"No, you can't. Otherwise, you'll never be done," the man said sternly, rinsing soap out of fur before reaching for a towel. "There! All done," he said when he had finished wiping the other's hands.

"Thanks, mister...?"

"Per, but call me Sistent," he introduced himself. "And I mean it. No calling me 'Mr. Per' or mister in general - makes me sound all fancy-schmancy. And no nicknames, either!"

"Okey-dokey, Sis!" Wander said, not even noticing Sistent sighing in annoyance. "Mah name's Wander! Nice to meet ya!"

"Sistent," Sistent corrected. "Nice to meet you, too. I was actually going to check up on you and your friend to see if any of you were hungry. What kind of friend is she if she doesn't even help you get to the bathroom?" he asked rather accusingly.

"Don't talk about Sylvia like that!" Wander defended his friend. No one was allowed to talk ill of her in his presence. "If ya are gonna fault anyone, then fault me! I went alone 'cuz I didn't wanna wake her up."

"All right, all right! No need to get angry. I suppose, she won't be coming down for breakfast yet, then?"

"Nah," Wander answered. "She'll come down in her own time."

"You hungry, then?"

As if to answer Sistent's question, Wander's stomach rumbled so loudly an earthquake wouldn't be able to compete.

"...I'll take that as a 'yes'."

Sistent led Wander down the hallway, towards the stairs. To prevent falling down the stairs and landing in a heap of limbs, Sistent picked Wander up bridal style and carried him down the stairs. He continued to carry him like this, even as they entered the kitchen. The smell of freshly brewed coffee reached Wander's nostrils.

"Look at the cute couple," said a high pitched female voice Wander didn't recognise.

"It's not funny," Sistent grumbled as he sat Wander down in a chair.

"You're right. The age difference makes you look like a creep," she chuckled at his reaction and addressed Wander. "Morning, Sweetie! I'm Mrs. Per, but you can call me Fekta. Mostly because Fekta's my name. Our husband," she paused, waiting for Sistent to huff in annoyance at her remark, which he did, "by whom you were so gracefully carried, is called Sistent. Just in case you haven't already been introduced. So, what's your name, Dearie?"

"Folks call me Wander."

"Nice to meet you, Wander! Would you like anything to eat? Boiled Galgoon eggs with toast? Pancakes with gumberry sirup? Porridge with fresh fruits and cream? Something else entirely?"

"Gosh, I don't know. It all sounds so delicious, I don't know which to choose! You just pick one and I'll eat it!"

"Hm, you do look awfully starved," she patted him on his stomach. "I suppose, it'll be pancakes then!" She walked over to the stove and proceeded to make just that.

"So," Sistent started after a few minutes of silence. "Your friend told us Plexia pointed you to this place. How is she?"

"Oh yeah, Plexia! Well, she seemed to be doing fine," Wander thought back. "A bit on the shy and reserved side, though."

"That's nothing new," Sistent commented. "She has always been very self-conscious of her stuttering, for which she was the butt of many jokes in her early school years. At one point, it got so bad that we had to take her out and start home-schooling her. Mit, our son and her father, had to take extra hours at the station to pay the tutor, which also meant that we, Fekta and I, had to babysit her throughout most of her childhood."

"So that's what she meant!"

Sistent looked at him, confused. "Sorry, what?" Even Fekta turned her head towards, looking rather perplexed by his exclamation.

"She told us that she wanted prove herself capable of bein' independent. If you've been keepin' a constant eye on her, of course she'd want to show her capability!"

"Sure," Sistent poured himself a cup of coffee and sipped at it. "We've had to do most things for her, since she's never been any good at socialising with anyone," he thought for a moment, and then added, "except you, apparently."

"That's right," Fekta butted in. "How long have you known her, by the way?"

"We just met her yesterday, actually," Wander answered rather casually.

"Yesterday?!" Fekta and Sistent chorused.

"Yes, or was it today? To be honest, I'm not sure."

"How did you meet her, then?"

"Well," Wander then told them everything that had happened. He told them about the club, Emperor Awesome and the accident, about everything leading all the way up to the point where they met Plexia.

"So, she told you about us because she felt sorry for you?" Fekta asked Wander, as she fed him the pancakes she had made for him. He had had difficulty using the cutlery, and the fat from the pancakes would only mess up his fur had he used his hands.

"Yeah! She really helped us out back there!" he happily exclaimed, unintentionally spitting out bits and pieces of pancakes in the process. "And we her. She seemed depressed when we met her, but I'd like to think we left her with a smile on her face and a blossoming friendship in her heart!"

"Ain't that sweet?" Fekta cooed. "Nothing like mutual care to make a friendship grow!"

"It's like I always say; it never hurts to help!"

"If it doesn't cost you your eyesight," Sistent muttered, and was elbowed in the side by Fekta. "Oof! I mean, you help a lot?"

"Do we?!" the excitement in his voice was comparable with a Whatian, whom had just been asked who their favourite Professor, comrade or episode of Professor What was. "It's our job! Well, we don't actually get paid, and we need to do a few odd jobs to get money for orbble juice, but you get the point!"

"No, not really. Please, elaborate."

"It's the right thing to do. Whether it be out of an obligation or your own moral compass doesn't matter, just as long as you've made a poor soul's day brighter! It can be something as small as kissing the pain away from a wound to something as big as saving a planet!"

"Oh! You mean kind of lik- Wait, WHAT?! Saving a planet?!" Sistent was baffled.

"Yeah! Sylvia and I have saved a few planets in our time! Like Binglebobalufalis from Lord Hater, or Flendar from Lord Hater, or that one robot planet from Emperor Awesome, or how about the time when-"

"Emperor Awesome? The guy you mentioned earlier?"

"Um, yeah."

"If you don't mind me asking, who is this Emperor Awesome guy anyway? Name's sounds familiar, but I can't quite place it."

"An old pal of ours who used to destroy planets during his parties. Remember Crayzon?"

"The cow planet?"

"That's the one! He caused that," Wander seemed to frown under the blindfold at the couple's alarmed gasps. "Don't be like that! He hasn't really caused any such destruction in quite awhile. I suspect he might possibly have a crush on Syl," he suddenly gasped in realisation. The shape of his smile revealed a look of pure awe, and you could almost see a lightbulb turn on above his head. "I should totally set them up on a blind date!"

"Over my dead body," a familiar voice came from the doorway.

"Sylvia!" the tone Wander used almost made it sound like it had been years since they last saw each other and/or heard each other's voices. "Good mornin'! Didya sleep well?! Any good dreams? Any nightmares? I've been havin' a tip-top mornin', wakin' up in a bed, makin' friends and Mrs. Per been awfully nice, bakin' me pancakes and helpin' me eatin' them! Literally!" He paused in his babbling to take in a few precious breaths of air. "That reminds me - are ya hungry? Huh? Huh? Are ya?"

When it finally seemed like the rambling was over, Sylvia needed to rewind that entire one-sided conversation for her to properly answer him. "Um, morning. Yes. Dunno. Dunno. Good for you, buddy. And yes, I'm starving!"

Fekta, who was smiling, internally laughing at the display, brightened. "I suppose it's my time to shine once again!" She stood up and pushed Sylvia into the chair next to Wander's. "What would you like?"

After a second of thought Sylvia answered, "I've heard wonders of your Glafberry Cream Crumble."

"You got it!" Fekta winked. She was about to turn towards the stove when she noticed Sistent lighting up a smoking pipe. She frowned. "Sistent, I wish you wouldn't smoke that darned thing in the kitchen!"

"If not here, then the living room! And I know you don't like that."

* * *

 **There most likely won't be an update next week, since I'm going to Germany this Sunday :/**

 **Dismayed smiley is because of no update, not Germany. I love Germany.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry it took so long. Once I get out of the rhythm of writing, I'm the worst procrastinator the world has ever seen. Seriously, waiting so long for something not that good? Wow, I'm dirt. Oh well, enjoy!**

 **Some hints of Sylander in this chapter (from Wander this time, yay!) I ship them so much, yet I don't want their best friend dynamic to change. My shippy feels confuse me sometimes XD**

 **You also get a prime example of why I'm not a songwriter.**

 **Wander Over Yonder (c) Craig McCracken**

* * *

"Are ya sure I can't be of any help?"

"Yes, Wander. For the godzillianth time, I'm sure."

It had been like this for the last three weeks. If there were even the smallest hint of someone (mostly Fekta) needing help, Wander would jump at the opportunity. Dusting? Sure. Go to the grocery store? Will do. Doing the dishes? Of course, don't be ridiculous. As much as Fekta appreciated the offer, she would much rather he just sat down and tried to relax. For the health and safety of everyone involved, as well as the general intact state of her china. It was an heirloom, after all.

Disregarding his own health, Wander was under the impression that it could prove hazardous to an elderly lady's health to go unaided where even the smallest of tasks were concerned. Fekta made no attempt to hide her dismay at the insinuation, though Wander was as oblivious as ever. To ease his concern, Sylvia helped out as much as she could in the house. It helped somewhat, though he had still grown rather twitchy from sitting down and doing nothing for three weeks on end.

"But, _Syyyllll_ , I'm _bored_ ," he whined. "There must be _somethin'_ I can do ta help ya out."

"There isn't," she curtly replied and folded one of Sistent's hideously orange shirts. She had promised Fekta to do a considerable amount of chores, while the other was buying groceries. Among those chores were dusting off and vacuuming each room, as well as the washing, drying, ironing and folding of the laundry belonging to everyone currently residing in the house, including the guests - a family of four. She only needed to fold a few more pieces of clothing, and then she would be done for the day. Whew.

"Why don't you play something to get your mind off things?" she absentmindedly suggested.

"I guess..." Wander replied and pulled his banjo out of his hat. He began playing a tuneless melody, which did nothing to cheer up either of their moods. It did, however, wake up Sistent, who had fallen asleep in his favorite chair, newspaper in hand and drooling rather unattractively.

"Whu..?! What's that dreadful noise?" he looked around sleepily, until his eyes landed on the banjo in Wander's hands. "Oh," he stupidly said with a regretful expression. He tried to come up with ways to correct himself, but ended babbling and mumbling in an unending stream of nonsense.

Sylvia rolled her eyes. Sistent was obviously trying to watch his mouth to the best of his ability when he was around Wander, not only because Sylvia and Fekta would kill him otherwise, but also because he too, in his own special and kind of weird way, felt bad for the poor guy. Nevertheless, he really said some stupid things every once in awhile.

"Dreadfully beautiful," Sylvia helpfully suggested.

"YES! Yes," Sistent echoed, seemingly grateful. "It was dreadfully beautiful."

Wander sighed. "No need to try and cheer me up, guys," he said, as began playing again. However, this time it was more than just some random notes. It was actually a rather pleasant tune.

Sylvia and Sistent listened on in silence. She sat down, closing her eyes and letting the notes try to ease her mind and wash away the exhaustion. That quickly stopped when Wander started singing, and what was formerly a pleasant melody swiftly turned into what could almost be recognised as a lament, despite everything.

 _"Here I sit and all I want  
_ _is helpin' others  
_ _But my best friend keeps sayin' 'no'  
_ _and that's what bothers m-"_

Sylvia covered Wander's with her hand, which effectively stopped the singing and, in extent, the playing as well.

"Wander, look, I _know_ how much this distresses you. Boy, do I ever," she added under her breath. "But you've gotta know your limits, and, as the case is right now, you can't get any more limited... Well, I guess you _could_ , but... Right now I'm imagining it starting raining fire, burning down the whole village and us escaping with only a few burns, ha ha. _That_ would definitely make everything worse," she laughed weakly, quickly noticing that the other occupants of the room weren't laughing with her. Her already shaky laughter turned into barely audible chuckles until it completely died down, filling the room with utter silence for a few moments.

"Well," she coughed, breaking the awkwardness. She knelt down next Wander and held his hand, both to give him a hint to her position and to show her support. "Point is, you shouldn't strain yourself too much. I know a few house errands may not sound like a lot, and normally they aren't, but you really aren't in a position to be of much help. What if you accidentally broke a plate while washing up and ended up cutting yourself because you couldn't see where the shards were?"

Wander frowned a bit, then sighed. "I guess ya're right. Just feels sorta strange, not bein' productive and all. If only there was _somethin'_ I could do."

Sylvia smiled sympathetically, not that Wander could tell. She had a feeling she was going to regret this, but it was the only way to cheer him up. "All right, tell you what; you get to choose whatever you'd like to help with, and I won't object."

"Ya promise?"

"I promise. On one condition, though. It must in no way, shape or form prove to be too much for you to handle. Got that?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Wander saluted.

Sylvia smiled and patted him affectionally on the head, lightly pushing his hat askew. She then pulled him into a one-armed hug and they both sat/knelt there, enjoying each other's company.

She trusted that he would not break the promise - he was too honest for that! He would have a bit of problem finding anything, which wasn't somewhat hazardous, though.

In the few weeks they'd spent here, Sylvia had learnt that the saying about most accidents happening at home was utterly true and complete nonsense at the same time. No way was vacuuming any more dangerous than fighting an army of Watchdogs. Cooking, however, had always been troublesome, be it out in the wild or in a kitchen, but for very different reasons - one would be finding anything edible or determining the edibility of something; the other would be standing in a crammed space, surrounded by countless sharp utensils and heavy objects. Not to say that Fekta's kitchen was small, anything but. However, she still had far more kitchen utensils than absolutely necessary.

Okay, maybe she was exaggerating a bit too much. Neither chore was decidedly dangerous, but in Wander's hands... Well, he wasn't stupid enough to choose either. Now that she thought about it, the only thing which didn't even involve something as minor as a scraped knee was babysitting.

The twins currently residing there were energetic, but well-mannered enough if given the right amount of line and restriction. If their parents ever needed a break from them, then Wander could keep them entertained by telling a story about one of his and Sylvia's exploits, something they had a surplus of.

Their moment and Sylvia's musings were interrupted by a knock, or rather, a kick to the door.

Sylvia stood up to answer and was met with a mountain of meats, veggies, spices and a lot of other various things. Strangest, perhaps, was the fishbowl filled to the brim with water, miraculously balancing at the top. Even Sylvia, whose fish speaking skills were non-existent, could tell that the three goldfish inside the bowl were uncomfortable. Had they been able to breathe air, they would probably already have evacuated the bowl.

"Any help?" the voice coming from behind the wall of groceries was muffled, but unmistakably Fekta's.

"Uh, sure," Sylvia made to grab some of it, but instead of carrying approximately a half of the whole, the entire thing was practically thrown into her arms (gah!). The weight surprised her and she had to take a few steps back to regain her balance.

"Sorry," Fekta apologised with heaving breaths. "I've been carrying that the entire way."

"Why," said Sistent, looking up from his newspaper, "did you not ask for one of us to come with you and help?"

"Because I don't need help!" Fekta rejoined, her eyes widening in realisation immediately after. "I-I'll be bringing that into the kitchen, thank you," she tried to take the entire mountain back, but Sylvia allowed her to carry only a fourth. Fekta frowned, but Sylvia, whose face was now visible at the top, just winked and gave her a Wander-won't-know-ish smile.

Fekta smiled back weakly. "We'll be in the kitchen, making some tea," she addressed the rest of the room.

Wander opened his mouth to say something, but immediately shut it again. No, he had been incessantly asking to help, and had been continuously denied. Sylvia had finally given him a chance to be helpful, so he shouldn't waste it on the first and the best thing. He would wait for the right thing at the right time, and then he'd be super-duper helpful.

"So," Sylvia said, as they headed for the kitchen, "what's with the fishbowl? Don't they sell them and the fish separately?"

"Yes, the fish were put in little plastic bags. Why?"

"Then why are they already in the bowl?"

"Because I couldn't wait introducing them to their new home."

The farther away they were walking, the more muffled their words were becoming, though the exasperated tone Sylvia was using was unmistakable.

"She's only playing strict to protect you, lad," Sistent said when it had gone silent. "She's a keeper if I ever saw one."

"Yes, well," Wander started, but interrupted himself, a pinkish hue visible even under the orange fur. "Wait, we aren't... I wouldn't... Not that it wouldn't be nice... Syl's great and all, but-"

"I'm just teasing you, calm down," Sistent laughed.

Wander visibly relaxed. He had occasionally thought about what it would be like to have a romance, but it was never anything more than that - a thought.

Sylvia...

She was his best friend, and he loved her so _so_ much, but he also loved everything and everyone else, bar one. Sylvia deserved someone with a much more focused sense of care and attention, someone who'd love only her.

There was a rapid knock at the door and Sistent answered. It was a man.

"Oh, Sistent, thank Grop, you're home. Listen, I need your help," the man, a farmer judging from his clothes, begged.

"What's wrong, Thomas?"

"It's Baren. She is loose again!"

Sistent shut the door in his face with a loud _'slam!'_.

 _"No, don't!"_ Thomas cried. _"You don't understand! I've been everywhere, and no one wants to help!"_

"Who was that?" Wander asked.

"No one."

 _"Sistent!"_ Thomas promptly pounded on the door. _"Sistent, please!"_

"Sis!" Wander was shocked. "Ya can't just leave him! Let him in, he needs our help!"

Sistent didn't even bother correcting him on the nickname - he had given up on that long ago. "Trust me, you really don't want to get involved in this."

"But we can't just ignore him! What if ya were the one out there, all alone and scared? He needs us."

"That's hardly my problem," Sistent retorted, opening the door again just slightly. "Find someone else to solve your problem."

"I can't," Thomas sobbed. "I already told you, no one wants to help!"

"Sis, let him in!" Wander insisted.

Sistent pinched his nose, feeling a headache coming up. "Just don't give him any ideas," he hissed at Thomas, opening the door all the way.

Thomas mouthed a _"thank you"_.

"Is he in yet?"

"Yes, Wander, he is," Sistent answered.

"Great!" Wander exclaimed. "So what is yer problem, my good sir?"

"Uh," Thomas hesitated, awkwardly looking for Sistent's sign to continue. "I lost something - or rather, _someone_."

"Someone's gone missin'?" Wander gasped. _Perfetto!_ "Who? Where?!"

Sistent shook his head, silently telling Thomas to stop.

He didn't. "Her name is Baren and she's a Bulianow; a bull-cow creature with a mix of salamander. She went berserk near the edge of the forest, close to the farm."

"When doesn't she go berserk?" Sistent murmured to himself. He noticed Wander bouncing in his seat and swore. " _Quam_ , you were supposed to discourage him, Thomas!"

"What does it matter?" Thomas raised his arms in mild exasperation. "It's not like he'd be of much help anyway!"

"I'll have ya know I'm very good with animals," Wander said, seemingly not taking any offence to Thomas' comment. "Just take me to her, and I'm sure we'll reach an understandin'."

Thomas furrowed his brow. "But I don't even know where she is."

"What are we waitin' fer then? Let's find her!"

"No!" Sistent barked. "You're not going anywhere," he directed at Wander.

"But Sis, we can't leave her all by her lonesome. She may be a beast, but she's a beast that needs our help!"

The sound of china hitting the floor and breaking into pieces followed by someone yelling "WHAT?!" drew all attention to the doorway. Standing over what previously would have been recognised as teacups, Sylvia was sporting a mix between a shocked and angry expression. Right behind her stood Fekta, fussing over the lost tea wear. "Have you lost your flarping mind?!"

"Syl!" Wander exclaimed happily. "I know whom I'm gonna help!"

 _'He... He's a flarping **idiot!** '_

"You were supposed do something non-dangerous!"

"I know, I know," Wander waved it off. "But how could I not accept such a plead fer help?"

Sylvia glared daggers at Thomas, who, to her, undoubtedly was the cause of this mess.

He, in turn, held up his hands in surrender. "It wasn't my idea. Nope. Nah," he said, squeaky voiced. "He said he was good with animals!"

Sylvia took a few moments to observe Wander's bouncing and his ridiculous smile, and sighed. She didn't have the heart to disappoint him. "All right. But no way, no how am I letting you handle this one alone!"

"But of course, Syl! I wouldn't dream of takin' the joy of helpin' others away from ya! Besides," he added in his deeper and slightly more melodious voice, "it's not like we'll be completely on our own. I'm plenty sure Sis will be happy ta help!"

"What?" Sistent was taken back by the mere insinuation. "Nothing on this planet could possibly make m-," he cut himself off once he noticed Sylvia glaring daggers at him. The accompanying snort was effectively intimidating, and he looked to his wife for support. She, too, was glaring. "Um, could possibly make me say no to such an opportune chance of helping someone else," he rephrased, reconsidering the wiseness of letting the two nomads into his house three weeks prior.

"See, Syl! Everyone wants ta help!"

"Yeah, yeah," she murmured, already regretting this.

* * *

 **Don't ask how Wander intended to help doing the dishes or other such chore. To be honest, I don't think he knows himself.**

 **Before anyone says that Sistent is lazy - he sort of is, but he also takes care of the garden all by himself. It's quite amazing, really.**


	7. Chapter 7

**This took a bit of time, too. Sorry! THIS! This chapter I like. I don't know if you can tell by my writing, but it was simply so much fun to write! I hope the length makes up for it.**

 **I feel I may need to explain the characters a bit:**

 **Thomas - son of the man who owns the farm at the edge of the clearing. When his father is away, he is the one to keep an eye on the farm. Although, he doesn't want to disappoint his father, he is horribly lazy and irresponsible, and more often than not he has to ask other people to help solve his messes. This is the reason why nobody wanted to help him find Baren (aside from the accompanying danger). In short, he's a bit of a twat.**

 **Ygdar - his hobby is hunting, though he never does it for anything but food. Even though, he's tall and lean, he isn't exceptionally fit or strong. He mostly hunts with his friends, who are all bigger than him and who carries the quarry afterwards. Meaning, he's not much of a fighter.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Wander Over Yonder (c) Craig McCracken**

* * *

"Have you found them yet, Peepers?"

"Not yet, sir. We've traced their signatures to be somewhere on planet Naviborus-8, but we still need more time to pinpoint their exact location."

"Get to it, then."

"Sir, yes, sir!"

* * *

The group of five were making their way towards the edge of the clearing where Baren disappeared.

They had with nearly no effort at all managed to convince Ygdar, the husband and father of the family staying at the inn, to come and help them find Baren. Turns out, he had actually dabbled a bit in hunting, which concerned Wander somewhat. Ygdar reassured him, saying that he would never hunt for the sport of it and that he hadn't brought any weapons with him, thinking they were hardly necessary on a vacation.

"So," Sylvia casually asked Thomas, "how big is she?"

"She's _big_ ," he looked at her as if she was stupid. She could practically hear him say: _"Why do you think I asked for help in the first place?"_

"Well, duh!" she rolled her eyes. "I mean, are we talking about the usual size of a cow? It's hardly the salamander that adds to the height."

"Define _"usual_ _size"_ because cattle is different."

"I don't know. Five feet, I guess?"

"Nah. An ordinary Bulianow is the _"usual"_ size of a cow, yes, but she had a bit of a growth problem."

"Phew," Sylvia was relieved to hear that.

"She's about twice the size of one."

"WHAT?!"

"Fascinating," Ygdar breathed, which earned him a few looks. "What? I've never seen a Bulianow before."

"Neither have I," Wander said. "But I don't need ta, ta know she'll be _adorable!_ "

"Count yourself lucky you can't," Sistent commented. "You wouldn't think that once you saw her."

* * *

"How about now?"

The Commander turned to look at his boss. "We're closing in on them as we speak." Just as he said this, the tracker behind him _'plinged'_. "Aha! We've located them in this forest here." The central monitor showed a map of forest; Peepers pointed at a red-circled area, which stretched from one side of the forest to the centre. "They should be in this general area. Shall I send out a patrol now, or should I wait until we've-"

"OF COURSE YOU SHOULD SEND OUT A PATROL, PEEPERS! Seriously! Do you really need ME to make all of the OBVIOUS decisions?!"

"Well, we would have half the galaxy in the palm of our hands if you didn't make any decisions at all," Peepers murmured to himself.

"What wuzzat?!"

"Nothing, nothing!"

"You think me a fool, don't you?"

"No."

"You don't think I'm worth anything, do you?"

"No! Don't be ridiculous! I-"

"Shows what you know! _I_ have stolen candy from _children._ I've made old ladies _cry_ when I told them I didn't brush my _teeth._ I-"

"But you _do_ brush you-"

"Nuh-nuh-nuh!" Hater waved him off. "Don't interrupt! Now, where was I?" He thought for a few seconds, then snapped his phalanges. "Oh, yes! I was even kicked out of villain school prior to graduation! _THAT'S_ how bad and awesome I am!" Applause sounded from around them, the Watchdogs completely enticed by their boss' unfounded boasting. Some even whistled. "And," he added with an overly pleased expression. "I'm the official Hopscotch Champion~."

Whatever Peepers had expected him to say, this wasn't it. "You're what?"

"The Hopscotch Champion! Look, look," he conjured up a cabinet from nowhere, the insides filled with trinkets. "I've got these medals and trophies. This one's my favourite, I-" Noticing the clearly disinterested and disbelieving look his commander was giving him, he pushed the cabinet off to the side, followed by the sound of glass breaking. "Where's that patrol?!" Hater both ordered and attempted to change the subject.

"Sir! I'll send them off immediately, sir!"

* * *

"Do ya see her yet?"

"Wander, buddy, I would tell you if I saw her."

Once the group reached the forest, they decided it would be best to just split up and search for Baren in small groups. Since there was no way that Wander could do it alone, he and Sylvia were a group. Against Sistent's better judgement, he went with Thomas. Not that he had much of a choice, since Ygdar wanted to go alone.

Sylvia was really debating whether this was a good idea or not. Oh well, she'd just have to wait and see, and assess the situation th-

Sylvia lost her balance and had to take a few quick steps forward to grab onto a tree to regain her footing. It didn't stop her from looking a fool, running forwards with her arms out, then almost knocking herself out from running into a tree.

"What happened?!" Wander gasped.

Looking behind her, she noticed the cause of her trip up; in the ground was an indentation, a footprint from a five-toed amfibian. It wasn't the only one, and there were even some hoofmarks in between.

"I have a feeling I know," was her answer. "Just keep it down."

"Keepin' it down like a cat. Or a mouse. Definitely not like a cricket," he continued listing animals.

Sylvia groaned in annoyance, but moved on anyway. He'd stop shortly anyway. Not long after, she spotted a big silhuette amongst the trees and hid behind a nearby bush. Looking from behind their hiding spot, she could see perhaps one of the strangest creatures she had ever come acroos, casually grazing on some flowers. The entire backside was smooth and reptilian in nature, with the exception of an udder protruding from between the hind legs. The front was a big mass of muscled brown cattle with thick, short horns curving outwards in a flat arch.

It looked like the results of a Tops and Tails game where someone decided to combine two completely random cards.

"So _that's_ why they differentiated between a bull and a cow. I just thought they were nuts," Sylvia whispered to herself, refering to the disproportioned muscle mass in comparison with that of ordinary female cattle. Slightly louder, but not loud enough for the beast to hear her, she informed Wander of her discovery.

"Is she _adorable?!"_ he could barely keep his excitement at bay.

"To be honest, she's one of the ugliest things I've ever seen."

Wander responded with a loud indignant gasp that you'd either have to be deaf or living on the other side of the galaxy not to hear; Baren was neither of these things. She looked up from her meal, startled and trying to locate the source of the sound.

But Wander didn't stop then.

Before Sylvia even had a chance to stop him, he started talking. "Ya can't just call someone _ugly_ , Sylvia! They are livin' creatures with feelins, too! How would ya feel if _ya-_ "

By this point, Baren had located their hiding place and was closing in on them fast. Her eyes were seeing red.

"Wander!" Sylvia reprimanded in a whine, jumping out from behind the bush. She ran in a direction that would require Baren to turn at an odd angle, giving her more time to lengthen the distance between them. Unfortunate, she hadn't noticed a low-hanging branch in her hurry.

"Oof!" Wander cried out, being hit in the stomach and thrown off Sylvia's back.

"Wander!" she cried, stopping and turning quickly on the spot. Even though her reaction had been almost immediate, she had still managed cover a great bit of distance away from him. She froze up when she noticed Baren not far off, catching up to them.

The beast stopped up a few metres away from Wander, looking almost confused at him, as if unsure of whether or not he was a threat.

Wander was using a tree to support and help himself get up after getting the air blown out of him. That was at least something. During their three weeks there, his angle had gotten better; meaning, he could stand up no problem, but extended walks still caused him some pains - not that Sylvia would trust him to take a walk without supervision.

Baren started to slowly move closer to Wander. As cautious as the Bulianow was, Sylvia couldn't help the increasing panic, she felt. She didn't trust it not to attack him on a whim, and started running towards him as fast as she could.

"Don't you think about it, you ugly ungulate!"

Baren snorted angrily and started running as well, her eyes a furious red.

Sylvia just managed to reach Wander and throw him into the air, where he safely landed on a particularly wide branch, before the Bulianow hit her with all its weight. It continue running until it slammed into a tree, crushing Sylvia between its head and the trunk of the tree.

Wander was trying to figure out what had happened earlier, and how he'd suddenly managed to end up landing on what seemed to a branch. After thinking it over a few times and coming up with nothing, he just shrugged.

"I'm okay!" he called out to Sylvia.

"I ain't," she hoarsely answered, trying with all her might to push the offending force away. She finally managed to twist the horned head away from, releasing herself.

Baren stumbled a bit at the force, but quickly regained her balance. She turned to face Sylvia again, snorting angrily and ready to attack.

Sylvia grabbed the saddle blanket from her back and held it out like a torero would a capote. With squinting eyes, she said, "Come on, make my day."

Baren approached fast, but seemed to just zoom past her. Sylvia continued to make the Bulianow run circles, expertly making passes, until she tricked it into running into a particularly big and sturdy tree.

"Olé!" Sylvia cried in triumph. Her joy was short-lived when she noticed Baren slowly but surely getting back on her hooves and feet. "Aw, crab baskets!"

She ran back and forth with Baren at her heels, trying not to be run over, and continued to make passes in case one knock on the head simply wasn't enough for the beast. After the fifth or sixth time, she was ready to give up.

"You're kidding me!" she panted, bending over to catch her breath. She was feeling faint. "It's not even exhausted!"

Baren was barely a metre away, looking down on her and ready if she tried anything. She snorted in her face as a warning.

Sensing her distress, Wander knew what he had to do. "I'm comin', Syl!"

"What?!" Both pairs of eyes were now on him, as he felt around and tried to find his balance for crawling on the branch. It didn't quite work the way he wanted because before long, he was clinging onto the branch for dear life, trying not to fall down.

Turning away from Sylvia, Baren stood with spread forelegs, seemingly ready to attack. Like lightning, she ran at an incredible speed towards the tree, in which Wander had been perched, and butted it. The shaking made Wander lose his grip, and he fell and landed on top of Baren. Given how tall she was, he didn't fall far and was therefore relatively unharmed.

Surprisingly, Baren didn't freak out over someone landing on her.

"Wander..." Sylvia's voice was soft with a hint of a warning to it.

Wander ignored her, far too interested in what he landed on. He didn't exactly land on hard ground, and it felt fuzzy and stubbly. "Hey, Syl," he asked curiously, "what is this?"

Sylvia could hardly utter any words, shocked as she was. "Y-you're on...on top of..."

Once Wander figured out what he felt wasn't grass, but fur, he quickly put two and two together. "Baren!"

Taken aback by the outburst, Baren reared, making Wander fall off her back. She turned around, head crooked to the side in curiousity, inspected him up close.

Wander could feel her breath and reached out to pat her on the side of the head. "Hi," he said, smiling widely. "We've been lookin' fer ya."

Baren seemed pleased with the patting, mooing and chirping happily, and leant into the caress.

Wander started stroking her muzzle affectionately. "Well, I'll be. Aren't you the sweetest thin'!"

"You have got to be kidding me."

"See, Syl! I told ya she'd be adorable!"

"I don't believe it," Sylvia commented grudgingly, trying to stand up. "You're telling me I have been running around, trying and failing to knock her unconscious, and all she wants is a cuddle?!"

"And a lot of _looove~_ ," Wander draggingly enunciated the last word to properly express its importance, as he had done so many times before, and hugged Baren.

Sylvia huffed. "Not surprising, considering how ugly she is."

This comment did not go unheard by Baren, her eyes turned red in anger and she started grunting again.

Sensing her anger, Wander managed to calm her down. "No! No fightin'. We are yer friends," he voiced calmly, tickling her lightly behind one ear.

This seemed to do the trick and Baren lay down with her head in Wander's lap.

"Huh," Sylvia utter, mild realisation dawning on her. "Well, that explains why I was a moving target, and not you." Well, _aside_ from the whole _'distract and knock unconscious by bullfighting'_ she tried.

"I _did_ ya it wasn't very nice."

"I know, don't rub in."

Out of the blue, Baren licked one of Wander's hands, the one closest to her muzzle, in thanks.

Sylvia looked on in astonishment. "You know, I think there may be some dog in there, too."

* * *

"For the record, I'm blaming you for this."

From the time when they had split up from the others, Sistent and Thomas had been doing nothing but squabbling. It had started when Sistent made an off-hand comment about Thomas' incompetence, and it had just evolved from there. Too caught up in their little fight, neither of them had noticed the armed Watchdogs before it was too late.

So here they were, bound by rope with their backs against each other, captured by little alien eyeballs that were barely the thirtieth the size of the creature they had set out to find. It was a new kind of pathetic.

"Me?! It's hardly my fault we got captured by walking eyeballs! Besides, it's not like you were being of much help," Thomas rejoined sharply.

"We wouldn't be in this mess, had you been doing your job properly to begin with!"

"Man, what drama queens," one of their captors commented.

"Excuse me, have you _seen_ the guy we're working for? Drama doesn't even cover it, and you'd almost do him too much of a favour calling him a queen," the one next to him replied.

"Quiet, you two! I'm trying to report," a third one, this one holding a handheld radio, commanded.

 _"Have you located the targets?"_ a voice from the radio asked.

"No, sir, but we have found and captured two locals. No one else seems to be around. Could the locator be broken, and these guys be the ones we were looking for?"

 _"Impossible, and not unless either of them is a blue Zbornak or an orange, hairy spoon in disguise,"_ the person on the other end said, catching Sistent's attention. They were looking for a blue something-or-other and a hairy, orange spoon? Could it be?

"Should we let them go, then?"

 _"Oh, yeah, sure. That sounds like a great idea. **Of course, you shouldn't!** Besides, they might have seen something, which could be of use to us. Interrogate them and keep me informed!"_ the one on the other end of the line ordered.

"Yes, sir!" all three Watchdogs saluted, even though their superior wouldn't be able to see it.

"All right, you two," the second one turned towards them. "We have some questions for you!"

"Yeah, like where the nearest hotdog stand is."

"Idiot!" the third one, the leader of this little troop it seemed, smacked the first one in the back of the head (eye?).

"Ouch, man! It was just an honest question."

"Next time _think_ before you ask one of your _"honest questions"_ , okay?" the leader was making air quotes with his hands.

"All right, all right. Can't it wait, though? I _really_ have to go!"

"What? _Again?!_ " the second Watchdog could hardly believe his ears. "That's the fifth time since we landed!"

"You know I get like this when it's taco day!"

The leader and the second one both eyepalmed. "All right, listen. You go, and we'll just take care of things here," the leader commanded. "Just bring a pistol in case you run into something."

"Thanks, man!" the first Watchdog yelled, grabbing a laser pistol and running towards the bushes as fast as possible.

"All right," the leading eyeball started, as soon as the first one was out of sight. "Have either you seen or heard anything of anyone going by the names of either Sylvia or Wander?"

* * *

Ygdar hadn't had any luck finding Baren, much to his disappointment. He had got so excited when he was told about the missing animal, particularly when he heard it was a Bulianow. He was used to hunting forest animals for food, and had got quite good at it, too, if he said so himself, but he had never been on a farm his entire life, nor seen an actual farm animal. Even so, he still knew how rare Bulianows were in the farming community, and getting to see one was privilege he wasn't going to let slip through his fingers. Yet, even with his considerable experience with tracking down animals, he still was unable to find one the size of a hut.

He sat down on a nearby rock, pondering over the best possible lure. He was taken out of his thoughts by the sound of a twig breaking, and he hid behind the nearest tree. Out from behind one of the bushes came a tiny creature with an eyeball for a head, rushing and looking around anxiously. It was holding a laser pistol in one hand.

"Man, I hate nature! Never a toilet around when you need it," it scanned its surrounding a second time and seemed to shrug. "Meh, I guess this is as good a place as any," it put down the laser pistol and began working on unzipping its uniform.

Ygdar stepped backwards, feeling uneasy and strongly debating with himself whether or not he should reveal himself. He hadn't expected the sudden appearance of this walking anatomical feature, and why should he? It evidently wasn't a forest animal, just native to this area. He didn't need any hunting experience to figure _that_ out. For one thing, it was _talking_ \- not once had he come across a wild animal that could actually talk - which meant it was somewhat intelligent, as hard as that was to believe. Another glaring thing was the fact that it was carrying a weapon, and not just any ol' hunting rifle, but the type of pistol you'd only find soldiers carrying. Something was wrong...

As he stepped back, he revealed his own presence in much the same way that the eyeball he was currently watching had. He stepped on a twig.

"Who's there?!" the eye was interrupted mid-zip, and was quick to zip up its pants again before grabbing the pistol on the ground. Well, that certainly removed any doubt of its hostility.

Ygdar swore silently under his breath. He had just passed up the best opportunity of grabbing the weapon and turning this in his favour. As tall as he was, any weapon could quickly annul any advantage he might have had with his size.

"Hey, if you won't show yourself, I'll just have to come look for you."

Ygdar thought it over. A sneak attack was out of the question, since the guy was already alerted. He could try and leave without the other one noticing, and go back to what he came here for, but the chances of that were equally slim. Besides, even if he did manage to go unnoticed, he wouldn't find out why exactly this guy was doing here.

Sighing, he knew what he would do. "All right, I'm coming out," he stepped out from behind the tree, hands held high to show he was unarmed.

The Watchdogs shoulders sank in disappointment. "Aw, you're not them. Man, what a letdown."

"Not who?"

"Just some weirdoes we've been chasing around."

So this guy wasn't alone, _and_ he was looking for someone. Ygdar would definitely keep in mind to look out for any _"weirdoes"_ , so that he could warn them.

"Well, I haven't seen anyone around here," he informed him, making sure not to mention anything about the others. "Could you lower your weapon?"

"Yeah, sure, if you haven-" the Watchdog was about to do as he was asked, but stopped and gripped the weapon even tighter. "Wait! I don't know if you're telling me the truth!"

"Then, how can I prove myself?"

"I don't know!" the other exclaimed. "I'll just take you back to the others and let them figure out what to do with you."

* * *

Sistent widened his eyes ever so slightly, his suspicions confirmed. Even though, he couldn't see Thomas' reaction, he could feel the other's shoulders grow tense. "No," he lied.

The leader narrowed his eye. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"I see," he evidently didn't believe him.

"What about you?" the other one asked Thomas. "Have you heard about them?"

"Um," Thomas seemed to think it over. "Let me see... Sylvia's this tall, blue, dinosaur-like creature with red hair and a colourful saddle blanket?"

"Yes!" their captors exclaimed simultaneously.

"And Wander's this little pipsqueak with orange fur and an ugly green hat?"

"Yes!" the both of them seemed beyond excited. "Yes, yes! Where are they?!"

"Never heard of them."

One of their captors deflated at this, but the leading Watchdog did not want to give up. "Now we know you're lying to us! You wouldn't have been able to describe them in such detail had you never met them! You're just trying to make this more difficult for yourself."

Had Sistent's hands been free, he'd have facepalmed. "Now look at what you've done!" Sistent whispered sharply through his teeth.

"Well, _excuse me_ , for underestimating their intelligence. What do we do now?"

"Just let me do the talking. Well, what do you expect?" he said loudly to catch the eyeballs' attention. "Of course, he's going to know what they look like when you so blatantly announce their appearance while on the radio."

"I didn-" the leader cut himself off. "I mean, I wouldn't have...would I?" He seemed to doubt himself. "What do you say?" he turned to his comrade.

The other shrugged. "I don't know. I wasn't paying _that much_ attention. You could have..."

Not satisfied with his answer, his colleague started walking in circles, thinking over and over, trying to remember if such important information had been relayed through the radio. "It doesn't matter! You are our prisoners and we're taking you back to the Skullship for further questioning!" he yelled at last.

"We gotta wait for Terry first, though," the other Watchdog frowned.

"What _is_ taking him so long?!"

"Is this whom you're looking for?" an unfamiliar voice said. That is, unfamiliar to the Watchdogs, not the captives.

Both Watchdogs turned around to see a stranger holding not only their missing colleague, but one of their laser pistols as well.

"So," Ygdar tried to sound as threatening as possible. "How about you release these guys, and I promise nothing bad is going to happen."


End file.
